I restrcted  myself to one burn, to my ankle.

A good night.

I think.

*whines*

I am angsty.

I’m not writing.

These are probably related phenomena.

and the tears are gone

So about fifteen minutes after that post last night–

–I was euphoric.

Completely fucking euphoric. I could not stop laughing, manic, hysterical laughter that shook my entire body.

It was scary, even while it was happening.

And then, fifteen minutes after that I was outside smoking a cigarette and I started burning myself again. I did this last year, almost exactly a year ago. It was a short period of my life. I hope this one is just as short. I enjoy burning, but I don’t like the blisters and burns.

If my internet hadn’t broken at 4am, I would have posted in the moment and it would have been a lot more interesting.

final results

I am going to bed.
I successfully did not drink.
Gold star for me.

it puts the lotion in the basket

I cannot get enough of this genius video, which is only further proof that something is wrong with me. :) (edit: this time I don’t actually mean it. I love dark and warped and fabulous things, which I do not think is necessarily a sign of insanity. tho that fact that this video put me in a better mood worries me somewhat… oh well.. it rubs the lotion on its skin… or it gets the hose again… lala)

let us begin

Why Gray?

I call myself Gray because that is the color with which I write.

I don’t believe in good and evil; it’s all just a matter of perspective. Everyone thinks he’s the good guy. Everyone is the hero of his own story. That theory is innate to all my writing.

Why Gray?

Gray is my alter-ego. Like a superhero, except… light on the heroism. I can’t write the way I want to write when I’m my “normal” self. Gray is like a mindset I have to put myself in.

Why Everyday Gray?

Like I said last time, I’m not entirely sure what I’m doing with this blog. I mean, I kind of know. I’ve started a blog like this before, a blog written as my writerly self and not my “real” self (note to self: find better words to differentiate), but that blog made me sound incredibly full of myself so I shut it down. Not that I’m not full of myself, but I try not to flaunt it. It annoys the plebes.

So here I am writing as my writerly self, but this is not a “writer’s blog.” Not really. I mean, I’m a writer, but I’m not going to be giving you updates on my manuscripts and my query process and whatnot. I just want to see what happens when I let Gray loose on the internet.

And away we go.

post 1

I am not going to tell you who I am.

I have a real blog for that. One of those blogs that’s “anonymous” but really everyone who reads it actually knows who I am, and people who don’t know who I am don’t read it. On that blog, I give updates about my day, my life, my roommates, my cat, my celebrity crushes. The inane stuff that my friends read because I’m too lazy to write them letters.

This blog is not going to be like that. I haven’t figured out yet what it will be like, exactly, but it won’t be that.

Why do I need this blog if I have a “real” blog? I don’t know. It seemed necessary, somehow. There are ideas percolating deep in the back of my mind. I’ll figure it out and get back to you.